Asked by Man, 26
I want a relationship until it is real, then I find flaws and vanish.
Closeness threatens the story that you do not need anyone. Finding flaws is how you get your space back without saying you are scared. The other person experiences it as bait-and-switch. You can want space inside a relationship. You cannot keep resetting to stranger every time it works. Name the urge before you ghost.
We feel the temperature drop. If you disappear at the first sign of mattering, we will stop offering mattering. That is not us being cold. That is us learning. If you want us, stay through one ordinary week of liking us. The flaws will still be there. So will you, if you choose it.
The next time you want to vanish, say 'I am overwhelmed and I need a night, I am not ending this.' Then take only a night.
After both answers