Asked by Man, 40
It has been months. I am scared that naming it will make her feel broken.
Not naming it already made it a third roommate. Use care, not a prosecutor file. 'I miss being close with you. Can we talk about what would make that easier?' is better than 'we never have sex.' Offer help with the real blockers: sleep, resentment, boredom, pain. If you only offer hunger, she will hear pressure.
We often already know. Accusations freeze us. Curiosity about our body and stress opens a door. If there is pain, resentment, or depression in the room, sex talks that ignore those are noise. You can miss sex and still be on our side. That combination is rare and useful.
Talk once, not in bed, not at midnight. Ask what is in the way. Listen for ten minutes before you talk about your need.
After both answers