Asked by Prefer not to say
Every time I say what I need, it turns into a courtroom. I either explode or shut up.
A boundary is not a closing argument. It is one sentence about what you will do. “I am not available for late-night accusation texts. If it is important, say it tomorrow.” Then you have to actually go to sleep. If you stay and litigate, it was a complaint, not a boundary.
A lot of us overexplain because we were trained to keep the peace. That invites a debate. Try: behavior, impact, next time. No novel. If they fight the sentence, they are fighting the limit, not the wording. That is useful information.
Write the sentence before the conversation. Say it once. If the other person needs a fight to feel they won, do not enter the ring. Repeat the sentence or leave the room.
After both answers